Everything I'm Not
by LilySpence
Summary: Clare's tired of being a doormat for people to walk all over. So this school year she's decided to make some changes. But will these changes come at a price? Clare centric fic. Featuring Eli, KC, and Reese. Based on the Season 10 Promo.
1. Introductions

**Author's Note: **Hey guys. Not sure if this story'll spark your interest or not. I got inspired from the Degrassi Season 10 Promo. I've always been a fan of Degrassi but I've never written a fanfic for it. Actually this is the first real fanfic I've done for anything. I hope you like it. I'll try and update as quickly as possible. If you like it, stay tuned. If you don't, well at least you gave it a shot. Well that's about it. Thanks and I hope you'll like my fic.

**Plot:** Clare's tired of being a doormat for people to walk all over. So this school year she's decided to make some changes. But will these changes come at a price? Clare centric fic. Featuring Eli, KC, and Reese. Based on the Season 10 Promo.

* * *

_Introductions_

_ "You don't know what you want."_ The words echoed in KC's mind like a ghost. It was the last thing Clare said to him before walking away. It had been two months since he had last spoken to her. He had attempted to call her a few times over the summer but every time she picked up the phone, he'd hang up. He was ashamed of what he had done. Clare was right, the only one to blame for his problems was himself..He also soon realized that he couldn't regain his friendship with Clare overnight. It was going to take some time to get her to trust him again. Though there were going to be a few bumps in the road along the way.

Jenna was one of those bumps. Their relationship over the summer had turned rocky nonetheless. They were constantly fighting and bickering. Jenna had often accused him of still being in love with Clare, which he'd deny. He would accuse her of being clingy and needy. She'd just tell him to go back to Clare if he wasn't happy. It wasn't fun like he had once thought. Sure the make out sessions were great but sometimes there's got to be more. It wasn't going to last much longer, KC and Jenna both knew it but still neither of them could let go.

Life on Clare's end couldn't be better. She had spent all of second semester of last year getting over KC and this summer she decided she was going to have some fun. That last confrontation with KC gave her strength, she felt proud of herself and no longer felt like a lost guppy. Now she was confident and ready to rock. She promised herself she was going to try new things this summer.

Her Aunt Jane suggested she come stay with her over the summer. There she enlisted in Lifeguard Training. She had spent every summer since she was six years old out by the pool learning to swim. Her parents felt this was a necessity for her in case something would happen. The training went well and soon she was going to be part time lifeguard. Things were looking up for Clare but still she felt something was missing, which is why she decided to make another change in her life.


	2. Ch Ch Changes

_Ch..Ch..Changes_

For some the first day of school is torture for others it's what they live for. For Clare it was going to be a new experience because this year Clare had made some changes and not just in her class schedule.

As she walked up the steps of Degrassi High she couldn't help but hear people whisper. Not just whispering, guys turn their heads and nodding at her. Saying things like "Who's that chick? I haven't seen her around here before." And "Wow that girl looks a lot like that science geek from freshman year" She rolled her eyes at their ignorance.

However, there was one guy she couldn't help but notice. He was wearing all black clothing and smirking at her. He was leaning against the bathroom door. He was tall, dark haired, and had a piercing on his left ear. Clare blushed as he continued to smile at her. She brushed past him smiling to herself along the way.

* * *

KC was no smiles this morning. He had just gotten into another fight with Jenna this time over not caring about her power squad. How he longed for the days where he could talk about his love for robots with Clare and not feel like dork while doing it. All Jenna seemed to talk about was her appearance, the power squad, and making out. The last part he didn't mind as much.

Sighing he began to shove his new books into his locker. He had just gotten to his geometry book when he felt a girl pull up beside him.

She was medium height and had short wavy brown hair. She was slender and was wearing form fitting jeans and gray tank top that hugged her curves. She was hot, KC couldn't help but think. However, when she lifted her head, KC's mind went blank.

The girl that stood beside him, opening her locker, was none other than Clare Edwards: The girl whom his mind often wandered to these last couple of months.

"Clare?" he said finally.

"Hey KC," she said kindly. He looked her up and down, she really had changed. She now wore contacts and her hair was much shorter and flattering. Call him crazy but is she actually wearing form fitting clothing?

"H-How was your summer?" he sputtered out.

"It was great, I had a blast. Met some cool people, learned a new skill. It was quite enjoyable," she said.

"I'm glad to hear that." After a few moments of silence, KC tried to break it up by asking her a question.

However he didn't get the chance. At that moment Clare put her last book in her locker, "Well… I'll see you around. Later." she said walking away.

KC stood there stunned. He couldn't believe how much she had changed.

* * *

Clare began to feel a bit strange after that. She expected herself to melt when she saw KC but she did nothing of the sort. It was almost like… she was over him? She hadn't expected that at all today. She had expected herself to be putty in his palms but when she saw him she didn't see the KC she had once fallen for. The boy who stood before her was no man at all but a child. He had dark circles under his eyes (lack of sleep, Clare predicted). He was broken and had a surly air about him. He wasn't the KC she knew a year ago. He was someone else entirely, someone not worth mentioning. If he hadn't ripped her heart into pieces, she may have even felt bad for the guy.

She felt rejuvenated by this discovery. No longer did KC hold this super human power over her. She could finally be free, be free to love and care about someone. Be free to be whomever she wanted. "No holding back," she murmured quietly to herself.

"Clare! Baby! Where have you been?" cooed a sly male voice from behind her. She didn't even have to ask who it was. She knew from the pervy come-on exactly who it was.

"What do you want Reese?" she said turning around.

"You," he winked. Reese hadn't changed much over the summer. He still wore that wavy brown hair and mischievous grin. He was still a player and Clare wasn't going to have any of that today.

"Dream on, boy wonder." She snapped before walking away.

"Come on Clare, you don't think we'd have fun?" He said reaching in front of her blocking her path.

"Only if by fun, you mean me beating you senseless. Then yes we'd have fun."

"I might like that," Reese winked again.

"Gross." She said pushing him aside and walking away from him.

"I'll catch up with you later sweetie!" She rolled her eyes beginning to head to her first class, Biology.

* * *

Clare had entered the class room and began to search for her usual spot. Middle row center, close enough to hear the teacher but not so close that it's overbearing. She took out a book out of her bag. Lately she'd been reading up on Greek mythology. One story in particular caught her eye. "Oedipus the King." It was a tragic story about a narcisstic man who loses everything including his sight.

As she began to read she heard someone pull up behind her. She turned around to see who it was, and recognized this as the dark haired boy from this morning.

The boy smiled at her as she looked back. Feeling her cheeks turn bright red, Clare focused her attention to the front of the room. Still feeling his eyes on her, she was determined not to look back.

A few moments passed and more students filled the classroom and Mr. Little began. "Class we are going to do something different this year with lab partners. First and third row look to the person behind you, that person will be your lab partner for the rest of the term. Introduce yourselves as I locate the syllabus."

Clare felt her cheeks turn bright red as she looked her partner in the eye. "Hi, I'm Clare." She said friendly taking out her right hand.

The boy smiled. "Eli," he said taking her hand in both of his. "It's nice to meet you, Clare."

Her cheeks were getting warm; nervously she pulled her hand from his grasp. "So, are you new here? I haven't seen you around here before."

"Yeah…I just moved here from Port Franks. It's a lot different from my other school, much bigger."

"Yeah Degrassi's pretty big. I remember last year when I first started here. I was so nervous and for the first few months I wore nothing but my private school uniform. My sister used to give me so much flack and yeah it was really embarrassing but thankfully I made some good friend-and I'm babbling like an idiot." Clare somehow wish she had a roll of duct tape maybe then she'd stop spewing off word vomit.

Eli laughed. "I don't think you're an idiot, quite the opposite actually."

Before Clare could respond Mr. Little was back with syllabus. Clare turned back into her chair staring at the writing before her. As he went on Clare could have almost swore she felt Eli's eyes on her but she knew she must have been mistaken. No way would he be looking at a girl like her.

Somehow throughout the lecture a folded piece of paper fell into her lap. She eyed the note suspiciously and began to unfold it:

_I think you're cute. _

She looked back and Eli was smiling at her but then looked away once he realized he'd been staring too long. She turned back and began smiling to herself.

* * *

**A/N: **There you have it the first part of the fic. Sorry if it's a little rough, like I said I'm new at this so bare with me. I'll try and update this as often as I can. Thanks for reading thus far! Feedback is appreciated :)

-LS


	3. Out to Lunch

_"Out to Lunch"_

Clare couldn't stop smiling as she exited the classroom that morning. It isn't every day a cute and seemingly interesting guy tells her she's cute. If this happened a year ago, she wouldn't have thought much of it. She would've assumed the guy was an idiot and moved on, however Clare had changed a lot over the last couple of months. She was more confident and self assured. She realized that you don't have to close yourself off to the world to stand behind your principles. She also opened her mind which for so many years had been closed off to so many different things. Now all she wanted to do was to try everything, experience new things and never hold back.

She pondered this for the next few minutes as she made her way over to her English class. Only to be thwarted by a familiar female voice. "Oh my god! Clare!" She turned around sure enough to see her best friend Alli Bandhari. Alli as usual looked amazing in her jean skirt and purple dress top.

"Alli!" Clare squealed back as she hugged her best friend.

"You look amazing! What the hell happened to you? You go away for two months to stay with your Aunt and you come back looking like someone who just crawled out of a Teen Vogue magazine," said Alli.

"Yeah… I know it's different. I guess I just thought I was ready for a change. I'm tired of being Saint Clare. I figured it was time I mix it up."

"Do you really mean that?"

"What did you have in mind?" Clare dared.

"Well…Friday night. That new kid Drew is having a kickoff party to bring in the new school year."

"It's the first day of school and you are already invited to a party?" Clare laughed.

"What can I say; I have a _way _with people."

"Okay ignoring that but I don't know… a party?"

"Come on Clare. You said it yourself. You need a change and you know not every high school party leads to drinking, drugs, and waking up naked next someone you don't know."

"We'll see. Anyway fill me in on everything at lunch. I have to be going to English now. I'll see you later."

With one last hug, the two parted ways and Clare set off for English. _A party?_ She thought to herself. The last "Party" she went to she ended up necking with Wesley, which was one of the most embarrassing things she had ever done. Ali was right though, she had promised herself that she would try new things. She just figured that she'd get a makeover and be more confident. She didn't take into consideration that meant changing her beliefs. But was a party really that big of a deal? _It's just a party,_ she thought_. It's not like I'm going to sell my soul to the devil for a package of slim Jims. _

She crossed into the classroom and saw Jenna and KC sitting awfully close to each other giggling and being flirty. Three months ago this would've killed her, however now she felt nothing. If Jenna was the type of girl KC wanted than perhaps he wasn't the type of guy she wanted. What kind of guy goes for a girl like that anyway? Surely not a guy Clare wanted to be involved with.

She decided on her usual spot in the middle of the room. She took to her desk and started taking notes.

Meanwhile KC he couldn't stop staring at Clare. She had changed so much during the summer. She was much more confident and carried herself well. Instead of hiding in the shadows she had shined brighter than ever.

He felt this twitching feeling in the pit of his stomach, perhaps it was because it didn't seem like Clare had missed him at all this summer. Not that he had really expected her to, after their last conversation together in the spring he was sure she hated his guts.

Though her actions were from hate, her attitude was carefree to say the least. She was polite and she didn't give him the cold shoulder. It was like she didn't care, that she had moved on. Not that he had expected Clare not to move on, he knew she eventually would. He just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

Still the thoughts of Clare flooded his mind. Sure, he had one of the most popular girls at Degrassi but somehow this didn't seem like enough. Jenna and he had never connected on an emotional level as had with Clare.

Every time he saw Clare his heart ached. He couldn't ignore that. However he had made his bed and now he had lay in it.

He broke up with Clare, not the other way around. It's not like she left him hung out to dry. He had chosen to leave her for Jenna. There was going to be no way Clare would ever take him back and he knew this.

Still as complicated things were with Jenna, he still liked her. She was bubbly and fun, some of the time, and more importantly she knew nothing of his past. He got to start over with Jenna and she didn't ask any questions, he quite liked that. Though she was needy and clingy, something which he found quite annoying. He couldn't go out with his friends without first asking for permission from her.

Clare didn't make him choose, she was never controlling. He never had to ask her permission before doing things. She let him be who he was. She was his friend and she didn't judge him. She even trusted him and then what did he do? He dumped her for the new girl in town.

Great, now he was comparing his girlfriends. Perhaps maybe he was in too deep.

* * *

At lunch Clare got filled in on everything going on back home. Alli told her that Dave was working on building a car with his dad and that it should be up and running by his 16th birthday. She also talked about Fitz who apparently was making Connor, Dave, and Wesley's lives a living hell and that they were currently developing a plan to get him to back off. "Oh and KC and Jenna have been having some major relationship issues," Alli finished.

"What do you mean issues?"

"Like I don't know much but I ran into them at the theater with Dave and they were like yelling at each other in the snack line. Apparently Jenna doesn't think he's not paying any attention to her anymore and KC's been really distant lately."

"Distant?"

"Yeah… is this bothering you. I mean this KC and Jenna talk. I know how upset you were about them last spring."

"Actually, I couldn't care less." Clare laughed.

"Really?" Alli questioned.

"Yeah, I think I'm finally over KC. Today I saw him by my locker and we talked and my heart didn't pang like it used to. In fact it was great. He didn't have that power over me. It was freeing." Clare smiled.

"Well I'm happy for you Clare. After you guys broke up, he turned into a real douche. Seriously he doesn't even acknowledge Connor or Dave and I anymore. He thinks he's too good for us since he got with Little Miss Sunshine and his basketball cronies." Clare frowned. It made her heart sink to see KC drift so far away. He was always kind to everyone and never judgmental. She cringed at the thought of him becoming another Reese.

"I expected more from KC," Clare murmured.

"Yeah...But what are you gonna do." Alli sighed.

They both went back to eating their food. "Clare," Alli said finally. "The new guy is staring at you."

"What?" Clare asked whipping her head around to see Eli staring at her. He flashed her a smile before going back to his lunch. Clare blushed turning her head back to face Alli.

"Wow, so you and new guy, when did this happen?"

"Nothing happened. We're just lab partners in bio. No big," Clare explained.

"It sounds like you like him."

"I barely know him Alli."

"Whatever you two are totally into each other but doesn't matter anyway. It's not like you're going to go over there and talk to him."

"Really? Well I've got news for you Bandhari. I've changed." Clare picked up her tray and walked over to him.

"Hi, mind if I join?" She asked sweetly.

Eli looked up and smiled. "I'd be insulted if you didn't. It's not every day a cute girl wants to sit with me."

Clare laughed and plopped her tray down across from his. "So Eli. Having a good first day?"

"It's been…interesting to say the least."

"Yeah it's hard being the new kid," Clare sighed. "So what were you listening to before I barged in on your alone time."

"Oh just some Ramones. You like?"

"The Ramones? Can't say I've ever heard them before."

"Here," he said passing over one of his head phones. "Have a listen."

"I like it," she said smiling.

He smiled back. She gave him the headphones back and he put him into his bag. Eli then looked at Clare, really looked at her, as if he was trying to read her, "You know you're the first person I met at Degrassi who doesn't seem frightened of me."

"Why would I be scared of you?"

"I don't know, maybe it's the fact that I wear all black clothing, lurk the halls, and don't say much. At my last school no one would even approach me."

"Well I'm not scared of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think you're interesting." He smiled at this.

"Hey do you think you would, I don't know be interested in-"

"Clare! There you are baby. I've been looking everywhere for you." Clare whipped around to see Reese approaching her.

_Damn_, she thought. _Why can't he just leave me the hell alone?_

Reese sat down in the empty spot next to Clare. "Hey!" Reese said taking out his arm outstretched to Eli.

Eli just looked at it. "Hey," he said flatly. Reese retracted his arm.

"Well thanks for keeping my girl company," Reese said.

"I am not your girl! I don't even like being in the same air space as you. Eli and I were having a conversation here. So if you could just you know scamper off to some naïve freshman and leave us alone. That'd be great."

"Oh but you know you're the only girl for me Clare."

"I believe the lady asked you to leave," said Eli.

"Who are you? Her bodyguard?" Reese challenged.

"As a matter of fact I am and if you come near her again, I'll break you in two. Got it?"

"Whatever, Count Dorkula. I'm out. I'll see you later baby," he made a kissing motion at Clare before walking away.

"Friend of yours?" Eli asked.

"Hardly, thanks for that by the way. Sometimes it's hard to get rid of guys like that," Clare sighed.

"Well it was my pleasure. I'd be your bodyguard any day." He smiled at her.

God, she thought to herself. He's got a great smile.

* * *

"So then I was like 'Cara. I'm sorry but you cannot explain those shorts and those boots. They seriously make you look like a hooker' and she was all-KC you aren't even listening to me!"

"What?" he said, not even listening. He hadn't been paying any attention to her at all. Instead he'd been watching Clare. Clare and Reese, his arch enemy. He couldn't believe she was even talking to him, especially after the crap he pulled last year. What the hell was she thinking? Did her sudden change make her go brain dead as well? He watched her as Reese began to leave and she began to focus her attention on someone else although from his angle he couldn't quite see who the figure was.

He leaned forward to get a better look at the guy. Another guy? Clare was now hooking up with Reese and new guy? She certainly didn't waste any time getting around. Jealousy washed over him as he watched her playfully twirl her hair in her fingers. The way she used to when she was talking to him. He didn't like the way new guy was looking at her. He had recognized this look it was the look he had when he first met Clare.

"KC!" Jenna said finally. "That's it. I'm leaving. Have fun eating by yourself," she said before walking away.

He sighed but continued watching Clare. _Who was she anyway?_ He thought.

He kept watching them sitting, laughing, Clare acting totally smitten with someone who wasn't him.

At that moment he saw the two part ways but not before catching Clare looking like a lovesick puppy. It made him sick, how can she act like that over someone she barely knows. It took her three months to admit she liked him, now she was flirting with a guy she met in what a day? This was not the Clare he had remembered.

As soon as the two parted ways, KC rushed over to Clare.

"Hey KC, what's up?" She said politely.

"Don't 'what's up' me. What's up with you?" he said harshly.

"What are you talking about?" she questioned.

"I'm talking about you and Reese. What the hell Clare, you know what he did to me last year. How he outed me and is pretty much my arch enemy."

"Me and Reese? If your referring to our encounter a bit ago. Clearly you didn't see the part where I pushed him away."

"Oh and what's the deal with new kid? You've known him what a day? And you're acting like a lovesick puppy dog," KC dared.

"You know what KC, what happens between me and Eli is absolutely NONE of your business. I'm gonna be late for Geo. Ta ta for now," she spat before walking away.

* * *

She was furious with KC. _How could he even think so low of me? That I would stoop to such lows as to flirt with Reese? Is he serious? Reese is the most repulsive being to ever walk the face of this earth. I would never go there. _Her mind began to trace over the other things he said about her and Eli. Sure she had liked Eli, but she was no lovesick puppy dog. Besides since when was it KC's place to judge what's right for her? He had lost that right when he hooked up with Jenna.

KC was overreacting to it all, being a complete jealous douche. Alli was right, he had turned into a complete douche over the summer and she wasn't going to take it lying down.

She found her way back over to Alli's table. Alli was engrossed with conversation with Dave. Though this couldn't wait, and Clare couldn't help herself but to interrupt. "Hey Alli," she said. "Count me in for Friday night."

**A/N: Just wanted to say thank you for all the reviews. This is my first story so it's nice to have some support. I'm also very sorry that it took me so long to update. This caught me on the brink of finals week, however, now it's over and I have a month off to write. Also this week I noticed another trailer for Season 10 came out. Is everyone as excited as I am for the new season? I must admit I'm over the moon over the fact that Spinner finally found out about Jane. Anyway, more updates to come. Thanks again for reviewing your input really helps me! Have a great week! :)**

**-LS  
**


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